There are many different types of orgasms that men can experience, and I want to talk about the two main types.
The first type is the peak orgasm. This is the only type that most men have experienced. The peak orgasm has this sharp upward slope. The arousal and pleasure build and build very quickly and then you come to a sharp point and this point is ejaculation for men typically. You hit this sharp point and it only lasts about five or ten seconds. There’s pulsations then it quickly drops off. A sharp climb up, a definite plateau and then a drop back down. This is a very limited orgasm. It’s very pleasurable during this time, but that sharp drop off is very unfortunate and you actually tend to feel very drained and very tired afterward. This is often very force based. You’re forcefully thrusting and the energy builds up very quickly and then releases very quickly. The energetic quality of this orgasm is that the energy is flowing down and outward. The energy is flowing out of your body and it’s a very intense sensation when it’s happening, but after it’s over you feel depleted, there’s no more energy to build up for round two. You have to rest and recover that energy because it’s been lost. This is the type of orgasm that most men completely associate with as they’ve never experienced anything else. Relaxation is a major key here. We typically associate sex with being ‘sports sex’. Friction sex where you’re just thrusting as hard as you can and it’s pleasurable, but that builds tension. Especially for men. It builds up a tremendous amount of heat in the genitals so you need to take some periods of time where you are very relaxed, very passively exchanging. This allows for the deeper movement of energy between you. This is what gets you into deeper orgasmic states.
I’m not saying that you can’t have rough, passionate sex…it’s great to have that as well, but it’s like dancing. You want to have different moves, you want to have dynamics. Fast, hard, and rough sometimes, but then being completely relaxed, gentle, and completely passive. Having these dynamics will make your sex incredible and powerful. You will build much higher, deeper, more powerful orgasmic experiences.
The second type of orgasm is the valley orgasm. It’s a much different experience and it can be very subtle in the beginning, but it’s much more fulling and much more pleasurable in my opinion. It can even be more powerful than the ejaculatory orgasm. The valley orgasm gets it name because it’s like a valley, wide open and level. It’s this constant steady state. It’s more of a state than the peak orgasm, which is this sharp obvious point. The valley orgasm is much more elusive, in that it doesn’t have a definite beginning or end. It can be much harder to quantify. It can become difficult for men to open up to this new experience because they expect orgasms to be a very ‘in your face’ obvious experience.
The valley orgasm is a deep, full body, very powerful experience. What’s happening is that you’re in a constant state of orgasmic pulsation throughout the body. You go into an altered state and you’re very open to these waves of pleasure. Again, it starts very subtle, but it builds and builds. Energetically, what’s typically happening is that the energy is moving upward through the body. All this energy builds up in the genitals during sex, and during peak orgasm, it just explodes downward and outward, instead of upward towards the higher centers of the body. This nourishes the brain, the glands, and the organs. You can circulate it through the body. It’s this internal circulation of energy, which means that there’s no discharge. The energy isn’t shooting out of you. It’s building internally, it’s recycling. It’s moving within yourself, therefore it can keep building. It’s a very fulfilling experience in that there’s no loss from it. You build up energy and you can even exchange this with a partner. You can enter into this orgasm together and constantly exchange this orgasmic energy with each other. It’s very, very powerful.
There are no physical contractions that happen like they would during a peak orgasm, which is why most men can have difficulty experiencing it in the beginning. The valley orgasm isn’t something you can force your way into. You have to open to it. You have to surrender to it. I think this is another reason why men often have trouble experiencing this type of orgasm. They’re unable to surrender. In our culture we associate surrender with being submissive. We associate it as being a feminine quality, and we are afraid of losing our masculinity. It’s all bout balance here. This type of orgasm is inherently more of a yin experience in that it’s inward. It’s an implosion, versus the explosion of the peak orgasm. It’s a yin type of orgasm. This doesn't’ make you any less of a man. As men we can be yang in the external world. We’re out asserting our destiny, asserting our mission. We’re doing what needs to be done, we’re making things happen. At the same time, we need to be able to surrender into this deeper orgasmic experience during sex. It’s about surrendering to your partner, and making a deep connection with them. A lot of men are afraid to do this because they think that they’ll lose themselves, or be weak from it. It’s all about balance. You must have this yin/yang balance in your life.
None of this is 100% male or 100% female. We have these different qualities of male and female within us. That is what yin and yang is. For example, you sleep every night. This is the ultimate act of surrendering, of surrendering to the darkness, surrendering to the yin. We must sleep as it keeps us balanced. We go crazy and die if we don’t sleep. You have to have this yin/yang dynamic in your life.
You must be able to surrender to the sexual experience, being able to let go of the feeling the need to force yourself into orgasm. To surrender to you partner, open yourself to this much deeper experience. It’s about removing all expectations. So many guys have this expectation while trying to experience these deeper orgasms. They expect force. To force the energy through the body, and your results will be very limited when you have these expectations and you’re trying to use force. Again, it’s about letting go of all of that and just surrendering yourself into the experience.
So how do we start to experience the valley orgasm?
It requires having open energy channels in your body. Your body is filled with energy channels and meridians. These need to be open. At least the microcosmic orbit. This is the main energy channel of the body going up the back of the body and down the front. When these channels are open you have space for the sexual energy to move upward, so it an be circulated internally. This is why I always encourage people to practice Qigong and mediation. These practices open up the channels and when you have sex, you have a pathway for the sexual energy to move within.
Open energy channels are very important, as is having a connection to your partner, being able to trust your partner. Being able to fee connected to them. This is not purely physical, animalistic thrusting, then ejaculating type of experience, This is a new type of experience, and much more evolved if you will. It’s much more human, much more heart to heart connection. Soul connection. The physically connection is just another layer to it. When all of this is in place, it becomes extremely powerful.
It’s really about being able to connect to deeper layers of yourself, and being able to connect with your partner on deeper levels and not expect, or to forces yourself to the point of orgasm. You want to let energy flow and feel your breath. One of the best ways to move energy during sex it to breathe deeply.
I hope you find this helpful. I hope this broadens your definition of what sex can be, because the valley orgasm is so healing, so nurturing, as you can build up energy and store it, instead of losing this sexual charge when you ejaculate. You hold onto this charge and it fuels your body, fuels creativity, and it’s very, very healing.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to experience this type of orgasm, I’ve created a six week course called “The Multi-Orgasmic Man’ which has all the foundations your need to open the body and prepare for this higher sexual experience. This course is open for registration April 8-17th https://www.johnathanwhitelifestyle.com/multi-orgasmic-man